16 Jan 11 Ways to Improve Your Sex Drive
Sex is great for countless reasons, but sometimes we’re just not feeling it. And it’s OK to not be in the mood sometimes; we all have lives that can get in the way. But if you really want to kick start getting your groove on, there’s lots of things you can do to boost your sex drive — and have things burn hotter once you are going at it!
“We all know that to do the horizontal mambo you need to be full of energy. What many people don’t realize is they are not eating the right foods or getting enough sleep so their bodies lack energy,” says Brad Davidson, fitness expert, nutritionist and author of The Stark Naked 21-Day Metabolic Reset. “I recommend sleeping between 7-9 hours a night without any electronics around, as they emit blue light which suppresses melatonin. In addition, when you cheat sleep it demolishes your hormones, especially your testosterone levels,” says Davidson. “There are many studies that show only sleeping 4 hours versus 8 hours for one night can reduce your total testosterone levels as much as 60% the next morning. “
It is important to have your proteins and healthy fats early in the day to keep your energy up. “I recommend having a protein like free-range beef, eggs, fish, or poultry along with fats like coconut oil, olive oil and avocado, to name a few. These approved foods will help keep you energized throughout the day and ready for sex,” says Davidson.
And for dessert, reach for the dark chocolate. Chocolate has long been joked to be as good as sex, but it can also make sex better. Even better, go for chocolate-covered strawberries. “The dark chocolate is loaded with compounds to boost your sex drive, including ‘love chemical’ phenylethylamine, which triggers the release of dopamine in the brain and anandamide, the ‘pleasure chemical.’ The bioflavonoids in the chocolate also open up your blood vessels to improve blood flow while the natural sugar in the strawberries hits you with a burst of energy,” says Chris Wilson CPT, RKC, CSN. of Critical Bench Vault, a head strength coach and author.
Stress can destroy a man’s libido. “When we feel stressed, our sex hormones are affected and produce a dip in testosterone. When testosterone dips it not only decreases our sexual desire, but also the ability to get it up. In order to obtain and sustain an erection you need to be calm,” says Davidson.
Turn On ESPN
“Watching your team sweat it out spikes testosterone in men and women (researchers figured this one out after studying Spanish fans — err — ‘watching’ the 2010 World Cup Soccer),” says Lisa Sweet, author of Orgasms That Will Make Her Toes Curl.
Get yourselves worked up. “Working out is a great way to boost your sex drive because physical activity increases blood flow, which makes sex more pleasurable. Exercise also boosts endorphins, which gives you more energy and makes you feel good,” says Andrea Syrtash, relationship expert and author of the new Audible book, He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing).
Set The Mood
You may have been all about messing around in a sea of clutter back in your college dorm days, but now you are an adult and there’s nothing stimulating about having sex in a mess. “Make sure your bedroom is not too cluttered or messy. Remove anything that feels out of place if it doesn't go with the mood you are setting,” says Dellepiane.
Try Mental Stimulation
50 Shades of Grey is called mommy porn for a reason. Erotica and porn are great ways to get in the mood. Sexting works, too, for the same reasons. “Yes, reading erotica like 50 Shades of Grey or something better can definitely bring you into the mood, especially if you have a great lover who knows how to talk dirty. The brain is the biggest sexual organ,” says Tatiana Dellepiane, a sex and relationship coach.
But when it comes to porn, enjoy in moderation. “I advise my patients to avoid watching porn if they have low libido or conditions like erectile dysfunction. It can really raise the threshold at which you get turned on, which can desensitize you to sex with a partner. There's nothing wrong with porn in moderation, but for people who already have low sex drives, it doesn't do any favors,” says Dr. Christopher Asandra, chief medical officer of NuMale Medical Center.
Choose The Right Music
Music is the best thing to get yourself in the mood for sex. “Do you want more tantric lovemaking or a little bump ‘n grind? You both choose what you're in the mood for,” says Dellepiane.
“The liver is a major player in metabolism and, when not working optimally, affects your hormones, so your energy will be horrible,” says Davidson. To help normalize your liver enzymes, says Davidson, try simple strategies like drinking warm lemon water with half a lemon squeezed into it first thing in the morning, drinking half your body weight in ounces of water, and consuming more cruciferous vegetables, such as brussel sprouts, watercress, cauliflower, broccoli, and bok choy, as they contain specific amino acids that aid the liver in detoxification. “As an added benefit they help regulate estrogen allowing for more optimal levels of testosterone,” says Davidson.
Take Herbal Supplements
Davidson has used herbal supplements with clients to successfully boost libido as well. “Super-X by Dr. Chi is a Chinese herb product that contains the ingredients Epimedium Brevicornum that has been shown to have aphrodisiac potential, and can also boost testosterone. Another is Panax Ginseng, which has been shown to boost energy and the secretion of hormones. Cordyceps has been shown to boost libido and fertility.”
Another great libido-boosting supplement to try is Maca. “Maca, a root from the Andes of Peru, is an adaptogen that helps bring your entire system to equilibrium. One benefit that has been studied the most is that maca increases energy, libido and erectile function. Studies suggest that maca works by activating key endocrine glands, which allow improved male sexual performance,” says Manuel Villacorta, RD author of Whole Body Reboot: The Peruvian Superfoods Diet. Maca-rich options include YouthH2O and LA Star Greens Perfect 10 Super Food.
See Your Doctor
If you're suffering from a low sex drive — especially one that used to be higher — check with your doctor. “Medical conditions like high blood pressure, diabetes, low testosterone and more can have a profound affect on sex drive, and they can affect other aspects of your life, too. Getting a physical and having a frank, honest discussion with your doctor can make a big difference. And if you are diagnosed with low testosterone, see a specialist who focuses on the condition. Testosterone replacement is safe and effective, but it requires the kind of close medical supervision and regular monitoring that a specialist is probably best suited to provide,” says Dr. Asandra.